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Boost Your Child’s Confidence

July 25, 2012 | 0 Comment(s)

Although we sometimes talk about confidence as something that a person “has,” confidence actually involves a very specific set of behaviors.

Identifying these traits as desirable is the first step. Children need a clear set of expectations that they understand are important and know they must follow.

To help them recognize the importance of the goal, these qualities must first be labeled as positive.

Let’s take good posture, for example. In martial arts class the instructor would say, “Black belts have their backs straight and chests out. You do want to become a black belt, don’t you?”

Or, “I know you are good looking, so let’s accentuate it!”

Or, even point out the negative: “When you’re slouching like that your posture looks so weak and I know that’s not case. You are a strong person, so back straight and chest out. Go!”

Stating the issue, explaining its importance and giving children a clear directive will help children understand the link — in this case, that standing up straight makes them project the look of confidence.

How Safe is Safe?

June 18, 2012 | 0 Comment(s)

Safety is a topic high on every parent’s priority list. We all worry about the safety of our children in an uncertain world where danger lurks around every corner and we may feel inadequate to provide them with the necessary training for self defense.

The question is how can I help my child to develop the skills and the judgment they need for adequate self defense and safety? How safe is safe?

When we talk about safety and self defense an overwhelming list of hazards crowd the picture and we may not know where to start. Food safety, fire safety, gun safety, playground safety, stranger awareness, and the list goes on. We can’t protect our children from every scratch, fall or insult and we can’t prepare them to deal with every situation they might face. But when we get right down to it one safety topic heads the list in every parent’s mind — stranger awareness.

Does your child know what to do if approached by a stranger say, on the playground, at the mall, or in the park?

Practice role playing with your child. Teach them what to say if a stranger tries to give them a ride home from school, for instance, or tries to buy them a treat. Ask them to tell you what they would do or say in a variety of situations and help them to memorize phone numbers and addresses to use in an emergency or unsafe situation. It may even be wise to test their behavior by asking someone the child doesn’t know to act out one of these scenarios with your child. You might be surprised at their response and it can help you to identify areas that need reinforcement.

How safe is safe? The safety of your child in every potential situation relies on their ability to be aware of their surroundings and to make the right decision when they need to act in their own self defense. We can’t control our children’s safety 100 percent of the time, but we can help them to acquire the skills necessary to help maintain their own safety.